Back To Work Blues - Already!!!

This morning seemed to be a normal Monday morning as I got up to wake and feed Ezaias.

I brought him to our bed, fed him and then played with him while daddy slept next to us.

After changing him and a little more playtime, I put Ezaias down for a nap and went back to join hubby in bed to catch some more z's.

(On most mornings, I'm dashing out of the house to make it to a 9 o clock gym class and leave the changing duties, etc. to daddy. I am so glad this wasn't a gym morning though.)

It dawned on me that I had 2 more short weeks at home with my baby. 

I started to feel, well honestly, sad. 

As I lay there, I listened to Ezaias talk and play. 

I didn't feel tired anymore. 

I wanted to spend some time with him. 

I walked over to his room. 

He was laying on his tummy - babbling. 

When he sensed my presence, he looked up at me with most gorgeous puppy dog look ever.

 I would have loved to capture that moment with my camera, but I didn't want to move. 

He stared at me for a few seconds. 

Then I smiled at him and said "Hey Papa" and he flashed his usual big, bright smile. 

I felt my eyes start to water and as I wiped them away, he looked @ me with the most concerned look in his eyes. 

It was as if he knew. 

I wiped the tears away, smiled at him and he smiled back a smile that made me feel like he was saying "Its Going To Be Ok, Mommy". 

He then laid his head down.

*Written as I sat on the arm of the rocking chair in room, as I watched him toss and turn, find his finger (to suck) and then drift off to sleep.*

After he fell asleep, I went back into our room, where hubby was still sleeping.

I cuddled up next to him and he asked me if my nose was stuffy (lol).

I said "No. I'm just sad that I only have 2 more weeks at home with my baby".

He chuckled and  still half-asleep said "Just enjoy him."

When he realized that I was still crying, he held me real tight and rubbed my back until I drifted off to sleep.

(Lol, I guess there may be two babies in the house!)

I have enjoyed 16 lovely weeks at home with Ezaias and he will be 18 weeks when I return to work.

This is going to be HARD!

What feelings did you have before you went back to work and after you returned to work?  What advice can you give to a mom like me who is already experiencing the back to work blues?

                                                 

                                    

Happy Father's Day!

Does Your Baby Keep You Up At Night?

Sooo, I suck @ constantly updating my blog, but I wont beat myself up for it! LOL :)

I will be 27 weeks pregnant on Wednesday and I must say that time is really flying. I am so anxious to meet Lil' Eazy, yet I want alot more time! Here are a few more pics:

22 weeks, 6 days

25 weeks, 1 day - Thanksgiving Day

I have been feeling so much better. Nausea and vomitting is definitely a thing of the past! However, I have been having some pelvic pain. I feel it sometimes whenever I get up from a seating or laying position. I also feel it after walking the mall or the airport. It's also pretty prevalent when I change positions at night. I am however grateful for the improvements and new experiences :)

I've had some people tell me that while they were pregnant, their baby's movements/kicks kept them up at night.  I wondered if this would happen to me.  So far, Lil' Eazy hasnt been keeping me up - but I do feel him before I fall asleep and once I wake up. So, I wondered if he slept when mommy slept and woke up when mommy woke up.

But this morning Hubby told me that in the middle of the night he felt Lil' Eazy moving while I was sleeping and snoring (lol, thats another thing - he said I've been snoring quite often since I've been pregnant).  However, I wasnt awake when Hubby and Lil' Eazy were.  Hubby mentioned that he stayed up for a lil while feeling him move. So either the kicks aren't that hard or I have just been sleeping very deeply, or both. It made me smile though that "father and son" had some bonding time in the middle of the night! :)

Does/Did your baby keep you up at night? Did you snore during pregnancy? (LOL)

P.S. I have a few blog drafts that Im working on, so I hope to be updating again soon.

Baby Names?!?!

Hello My Loves! :)

I just wanted to update you guys. In my last post I mentioned that we'd find out the sex of our baby and a few weeks ago we found out that....

I didnt really have a preference, but hubby wanted a boy so, he is on top of the world and of course I am happy too! :)

It's funny because when we got married, even before marriage, we talked about baby names. There weren't too many that we agreed on, but we had a few. Now that its a reality, its even harder to agree on names. Lol. For me its sort of like, this is someone's name that they have to carry for the rest of their lives and I really dont want to screw this up.

One thing we have agreed on is the fact that we want him to have hubby's initials which are E.A.G. So, Ive been researching "E" names, but we still havent come to an agreement. I know we have a few months and I'm sure we will decide on something, but right now, we have NOTHING! Well I mean there are names that I like that hubby is iffy about and there are names that he likes that I am iffy about. For now, I refer to him as Lil' Eazy (hubby's nick name is Eazy).

Have any baby name suggestions for us? How did you narrow down your baby name search?

AF Did NOT Ruin My Bday, But I Have Even Better News!!!

Just to refresh your memory (and for those of you who dont know), hubby and I have been married for a year and almost three months. I believe from the time that we got married, we wanted to have kids, but at the same time we wanted to enjoy time with just us! Also, my dance group had its 10th anniversary concert on June 19, 2010 and I wanted to be able to participate in that - so I didnt want to get pregnant before then.

Now, I have been doing lots of research on TTC (trying to conceive) because I wanted to be prepared as soon as we were "ready". So on my last cycle, I started charting my temperatures and using OPKs - just to get an idea of my "fertile times". I didnt want to get pregnant just yet!

Fast forward to my next cycle which began on June 2nd. I continued to chart my temps and use OPKs. I felt as if it may take some time for me to get used to my cycle and pinpoint my ovulation and "fertile times".

Anyway, if my calculations are correct, I ovulated on June 19th (the day of the concert).  Hubby and I had sex several times that week and I prayed that we got the timing right.  Despite my hopes and prayers, I thought that there was no way we would conceive right away.

Now, Monday June 28th (Day 27 of my cycle) I had cramps and just assumed that it may have been pre-menstrual cramps. I even grabbed a few pads from my drawer so that I'd be prepared. I mean, I hoped that it was early pregnancy cramps, but come on, what are the chances? I thought to myself that I'd take a pregnancy test on July 4th (my birthday - CD 32) if my period didnt come, but I also was iffy about that because I didnt want to be disappointed on my birthday (if it was negative).

So, Tuesday, I came home from work and started to get ready for the gym (Btw, I just reinstated my gym membership on Monday, so that I could whip my body back into shape before I got pregnant). While getting ready, something said - go take a pregnancy test. I mean it was a spur of the moment thing, I hadnt thought about it all day. So I figured, hey, what do I have to lose? Its probably too early test anyway.

I had a few of those test strips ( where one line means negative - two lines mean positive) and performed the test.  I left the bathroom and kinda forgot about it as I went to put on my gym clothes. I came back to the bathroom and OH EM GEE... there was a FAINT second line. I, no lie, stood there and stared at the strip for a good three minutes without moving. I was like nahhhh, this is WRONG, this cant be right!

I went to the gym and went to the hip hop dance class. I didnt say anything to anyone - not even hubby. I was kind of doubting.  I finished the class, left the gym and went to my friend's house to get ready because we were going to see Eclipse. Honestly, I couldn't focus on anything besides what MAY be happening in my body! So, we went to the movies and I should have known something was up because I ALWAYS eat popcorn and skittles at the movies and even though my friend had some, I didnt touch it. I didnt desire it at all!

I got back to my friend's house around 2 am, but I just needed to get another pregnancy test. Hubby was at home asleep with our god daughter, so I knew he wouldnt notice if I came home a little later than if I would have come straight home. So, I went to Wal-Mart and the first thing I did was go to the baby section, then I went to get a pregnancy test.

I came home and went to sleep after 3 am.  Hubby usually wakes up around 7 am to go to school, so I wanted to wake up before that to take the test. So, I woke up before 7 and went to take a the test I purchased a few hours prior.  It was the clear blue easy digital test and in about 30 seconds this is what I saw:

I ran out of the bathroom and grabbed the gift bag that I purchased from Walmart and this:

Lol, can you believe it was the ONLY thing that Wal-Mart had that said "Daddy". So I wrapped up the pregnancy test in the onesie, but it in the gift bag and got back in bed with hubby and my god daughter.

Me: What time are you waking up?

Hubby: 7:15

Me: Well I think you should wake up now. I have something for you!

Hubby had the most confused look on his face! lol I handed him the bag

Me: There are two things in the bag, make sure you take out both

The first thing he took out was the onsie and his big smile started to appear.

Me: There's something else in the bag.

Hubby: (with the HUGEST smile on his face) Whats in the bag?? (It was as if he was scared to look).

He took the pregnancy test out and tears immediately started flowing from his eyes as he climbed on top of me and hugged me. He stayed there for a while and sobbed. By this time, our 11 month old god daughter was awake - still laying down, but looking around like "What is going on?"

This is her playing with hubby's new "gift":

                                 

After that, we just sat and enjoyed each other's company and talked about our future. I must honestly say that I was still doubting. I said to hubby "What if they're wrong? Should I take another one?" LOL. I was just so in shock!

There is so much more that I want to talk about, but this post is long enough! I will update you guys with other posts later. So for all of you would wondered if AF ruined my birthday (thanks for checking on me btw! ) - the answer is NO! :) I got the BEST birthday gift ever!!!

I am SO grateful to God, but that's another post all in itself!!! :)

Saliva Can Kill Sperm?! Say What?!

Soooooo. I came across a something on the Internet last week or so that said that "saliva can kill sperm". WHAT?! Are you serious?! (That was my reaction)  At that moment I didn't have time to do more research on it, but later on I did. Sometimes I swear the Internet is the devil, LOL, so tempting yet so confusing. In my research, I found a few different things.  I guess that's what we can expect on the Internet because there are so many different resources and so many different interpretations.  In addition, there is ongoing scientific research and new findings - constantly!

Now Hubby and I don't use any type of artificial lubrication such as KY-Jelly or Pre-Seed. We use NATURAL lubrication and/or SALIVA - go figure!

So, I just wanted to share with you some of the things that I have found: 

It's true that saliva contains bacteria that could contaminate an ejaculate, but if you go down on your wife before penetration, I doubt there would be enough saliva on the head of your penis to interfere with conception.

Ok whew! I don't think I can deal with him not going down on me. LOL! :)

There have been many studies done on what influences sperm survival. And most studies show that saliva can have a negative effect on sperm. If he has enough sperms then it's unlikely to make a major difference, but if he has a low sperm count then you need every single sperm.

Well, we don't know if hubby has a low sperm count, but I'm trusting God that he doesn't! 

Saliva has digestive enzymes in it that stop sperm from swimming on contact—not so good if you want them to reach the egg!

Ehhhh. Ok. I guess.

My take on it: I figure that one single ejaculate contains millions of sperm and we need just ONE of those to fertilize my egg. I don't plan on stopping my normal course of activity in fear of killing my husband's sperm. I mean... would you?!

So have you heard or read about this before? What are your thoughts? I'm dying to know! LOL

How Many Kids Do You Want?

I think this is a very common question! I know that I've asked it plenty of times and many people have asked me this question plenty of times as well.  Obviously, hubby and I have discussed it.

..... hmmm

So... I want 2 kids and he.....

..... Uh.. Lol, he wants FOUR!

Now clearly we have a problem. I guess we could compromise and have 3, but neither are too fond of the idea of having an odd number of children. Lol, wierd huh?

Well here's my argument:

1. We're both already 25. When will we have 4 kids? Its like I'd have to be pregnant every other year for the next 10 years in order to have all of our kids before I'm 35. This might work if I'm able to stay home and not work for the next 10 years ( which we'll discuss later), but how likely is that?
2. I want my children to have more than I did and be better off that I was. If we have 4, we wont be able to dedicate as much time as we'd like to to each child and there will be certain things that we'll have to sit out of because we cant afford it because we have a tribe! LOL

I mean, I could go on for days about why I think "less is more" in this situation, but honestly none of us can predict the future. I definitely dont know what's going to happen. I will be eternally grateful for whatever God blesses me with. So if its 4 kids - I am ready for that challenge!

Hubby and I have had plenty of debates about this, but I dont think its worth arguing over, because whats meant to be will be and Im excited to see what it will be! ;) (even if its an odd number, lol)

Now how many kids do you think hubby would want if he had to carry them AND go through labor? LOL

What are your thoughts? How many children do you plan on having? Have plans changed over time? Spill the beans!

"Ready" Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Me: Ready for babies?
Hubby: I'm ready! U?
Me: Sometimes I think I am! But sometimes I dunno. Right now feel like I am.
Hubby: Why don't you know?
Me: I dunno. Lol you ever feel unsure, but sure at the same time?
Hubby: Yep. Its the excitement of the possibility, but the fear of what it means. But I don't feel unsure.

Hubby's response led me to feel a little more confident about the decision that we have made to start a family.  I have heard many people say that they are going to wait until they are "ready" to have children or make some other life changing decisions. I am a planner so I do agree that you do have to make certain preparations, but waiting until you feel COMPLETELY ready may mean that you'll spend your whole life preparing, but never get to fulfil certain dreams that you may have. Make sense?

Dictionary.com defines ready as "completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use".

I mean are we completely prepared? Who can answer that? I guess we can.

Are we in fit condition for immediate action or use? I believe so.

So even though we may not have our dream house yet or may not have saved as much as we wanted to, I think we're ready!

Well we believe we are - let's see what God has planned!